


I Just Want You (To Set Me Free)

by orphan_account



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Basically everyone is mentioned at least a little bit, Everyone's a little sad but happiness prevails, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, M/M, The Duffer brothers want me dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 09:28:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19788046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When Steve was younger, his mom always chastised him for leaving that night's leftovers out for the stray cats that would wander into their backyard at night, warned him about attachment and responsibility.Or, Steve takes in a stray cat and Billy Hargrove loves him, and the world doesn’t end.





	I Just Want You (To Set Me Free)

**Author's Note:**

> I Refuse to talk about Season 3 right now, so here is an incredibly self indulgent piece where no one dies and everyone can be happy. Also Steve gets a cat so the Duffer brothers should take notes. Enjoy!!! 
> 
> Warnings: There are some mentions of suicidal idealization so please watch out for that, also some mentions of panic attacks and such. If anything along those lines makes you uncomfortable, maybe consider skipping this read. If I forgot to tag anything important please let me know!!!

It takes approximately 3 months and 12 days for things to go back to a tentative kind of normal in Hawkins. Steve only knows the exact time period because he got a calendar, felt some sort of cathartic release every time he got to cross off another day, a sort of reminder that he was here, and that time was passing, and that neither he nor his friends were fucking dead.

  
Although Billy was so close to almost dying, in Steve’s _arms_ for fucks sake, but he didn’t. So, all in all, Steve counts his blessings and crosses off another day on the calendar and takes a deep breath.

  
Steve only says things are tentatively normal because, yeah, he’s finally back to driving the kids around town when they’re too lazy to ride their bikes or take the bus, to the arcade, to the new diner on Main that sells the ‘Best Milkshakes in America’ according to Lucas and Dustin, but Steve doesn’t know how much he trust that sentiment considering they both get mint chocolate chip milkshakes.

  
And the adults, i.e Hopper and Joyce, have finally stopped aggressively calling the Wheeler‘s home phone whenever he’s watching over the kids while they have their new, weekly scheduled game night.

  
“We’re just calling to-“

  
“Everything’s alright Joyce, they’re okay, I promise. I got them”, Steve would sigh into the receiver, trying to ignore the clear tremble in Joyce’s voice, _everyone was so tired._ _  
_

  
Steve isn’t exactly sure of all the details of what happened that night with Hopper and Joyce, all he knows is that there was a shake to Hopper’s hands for months after everything happened and every time Steve saw Joyce, her eyes were rimmed red. Now though, they’re all smiles and constant hand-holding when they come to pick up El and Will from Steve’s house. He’s happy for them.

  
So for the most part things are back to normal, _but still tentative_ , Steve has to remind himself when his parents are out of town for what feels like the third time that month, and the kids are having a sleepover in his living room because,

  
“You’re the only one who lets us watch R-rated movies.” says Mike as he leads the charge into Steve’s house, ignoring Steve’s indigent yells that are more for the principal of it all, and since when did Mike get so _fucking_ tall?

  
_and_

  
“Come on Steve, you always have the best snacks!” says Dustin around a Twizzler he found from the package that Steve knows were upstairs in his room which, alright.

  
_and more importantly_

  
“We just don’t want to be alone tonight, Steve.” whispers Will after Steve halfheartedly threatens to call all of their parents and inform them exactly what type of movies they’re planning on watching.

  
Steve just nods and ruffles Will’s hair, tells him he’s just messing around with them, and pretends it doesn’t feel like he just got kicked in the chest.

Steve watches from the kitchen as they set up their pillows and blankets into a giant pile in the middle of his living room, shouting over each other about which scary movie they should watch first and what kind of pizza they should order.

He looks at them laughing and shoving each other around, Mike and El sneaking in quick kisses, and Lucas and Max casually holding hands, and the shared eye roll between Dustin and Will, and they’re all so much older now. It hits Steve in the middle of the chest, right there in his kitchen, under the too bright lights, the feeling leaves him hallow and empty when he’s reminded how fragile all of this is. They’re all safe now, they managed to save the world, yet again, but Steve is afraid of feeling safe, afraid of losing focus for one second, afraid of losing it all over again.

  
He thinks about Nancy and Jonathan, and tries not to be too bitter that they _left_ him for Chicago, left all of them. (All three of them still talk on the phone an excessive amount probably, but it eases the bitterness that rises in Steve’s throat sometimes. He’s mostly glad that they’re out of Hawkins, it just means they’re safe.)

And he thinks about Robin and how she’s one of the best friends he’s ever had, and how he wishes so desperately that they could have realized their friendship earlier, that he didn’t have to realize she was his best friend once he was laughing on the bathroom floor, half drugged up, silently praying to whoever was listening that they would all make it out alive because maybe he could go see her play in the band during football games in the Fall

  
And Finally, and most of all, he thinks about Billy. He thinks about the fear that rose like fire in his chest when he saw Billy collapse to the ground after that, _Thing_ , impaled him right in the center of his chest. Steve remembers the bile that was threatening to rise in his throat as he walked down the stairs, Robin gripping his hand tightly, as they walked towards a sobbing Max, informing everyone that Billy was still breathing, that they needed to call for help.

  
Most of all he remembers falling to his knees in front of Billy, ignoring the black goo and blood, ( _God_ , it was so much fucking blood that sometimes Steve has to shower at three in the morning because he still feels Billy’s blood on his hands), and placing Billy’s head in his lap, hands shaking as he pushed the messy curls out of Billy’s face, focused intensely on the slight rise and fall of his chest, that was keeping Steve holding on by a thread.

  
“You better not fucking die on me Hargrove. You don’t get to play hero, and then just fucking die.” Steve had felt like dry heaving his lung out, ignoring the looks from everyone around him.

  
Seeing Billy on the floor surrounded by a pool of his own blood and monster goop, feeling Billy slightly grip onto Steve’s hand as he was being carted away by the paramedics, all of it had knocked something loose in Steve’s chest. Something that felt like it had always been there, since the moment Steve first saw Billy step out of his Camero in the school parking lot that day that felt light years away from where they are now, but that he still hasn’t been able to place even now, three months later.

  
So, yeah, things are still probably more tentative and fragile and so fucked, than normal, he thinks. Because Steve has new nightmares now that set his skin on fire in a different way then the ones he had about dark empty forest and demodogs did. The dreams have him staring at his pool in the middle of the night wondering how badly he would hurt the people around him if he just let himself sink _down_ and _down_ and _down_.

  
And he can’t not notice the way everyone clings onto each other a little bit tighter when they’re saying goodbye to each other, almost as if they’re waiting for it to be the last goodbye they ever get to say to each other. Which, is 50 levels of _fucked_ that Steve doesn’t even want to look at right now. _Jesus_ , they’re supposed to be safe now.

And he also hasn’t seen Billy since Hopper had physical forced him out of the chair in Billy’s hospital room after the third day of Steve refusing to go home.

  
“You need to go home, Son. Your parents want to see you.” Hopper had gripped the back of Steve’s neck, more in a comforting, grounding, way than anything. 

  
“I-I can’t leave...what if something ha-“ Steve had tried to wiggle out of Hopper’s grip, feeling the same panic bloom in his chest, making his ribs physically hurt.

  
“Steve, listen to me kid, Billy is alive and he’s gonna stay alive, alright? You need to go home and pull yourself together, you’re starting to worry the nurses and the kids.” Hopper had ruffled Steve’s hair and all at once Steve had felt himself deflate. He was finally starting to feel the ache coming from the bruises and cuts that littered his own body.

  
“I’ll watch over him. I’ll tell him that you were here.” Steve was so exhausted he didn’t even startle when Max suddenly appeared by his side, lightly touching his wrist with her bony fingers.

And that was 3 months and 6 days ago. Steve only knew that Billy was alright because of Max and the constant updates she gave everyone. 

  
Steve felt the knot in his chest loosen with every update Max threw his way, like she knew he needed them more than anyone.

  
_“He’s different now, I see it in his eyes. It’s not a bad different you know, just different.” Max had said out of the blue to Steve one night as they hung back and watched the others splash around in Steve’s pool, trying to soak up the last few days of Summer.  
_

  
_“And how are you feeling about it?” Steve nudged her with his shoulder gently. He worried about all of them of course, but Max watched her brother get possessed by the MindFlayer and almost die in front of her, so, yeah._

  
_“He says he cares about me every time I leave the house. It’s almost like he’s saying it more for himself than for me,” Max smiled sadly, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her chin on them, “Now that Niel is gone, Hopper and El stop by the house often, I think that’s helping.”_

  
_Steve had let an easy laugh escape past his lips at the image of Billy Hargrove having heart to heart conversations about monsters and being a better person, with Eleven and Jim Hopper. It had made him happy to know that Billy was being properly looked after, even if it wasn’t by him._

  
_“I think he wants to see you.” Max had said hastily, standing up and diving into the pool, narrowly missing elbowing Robin, who was floating on a raft, in the ribs by an inch, leaving no room for Steve to say anything._

  
If Steve was being honest, that had been the most surprising thing he had heard since Dustin had said he had intercepted secret codes from Russians, so, that’s saying a lot. _  
_

  
So, yeah, things are as normal as they can be, except Steve doesn’t understand why he misses Billy like a phantom limb.

  
But he as other shit to worry about anyways. He has no idea what he’s doing with his life, he’s having nightmares anytime he drifts off to sleep, he feels the exhaustion bone deep. And Mike is about to order a Pizza with anchovies and that is most definitely a _hell no_.

~~~~~

  
  
The entire ”Catnapping Situation”, as Max and Mike like to call it, starts 3 months and 22 days into things being tentatively normal and because the kids are completely _incapable_ of properly helping Steve and Robin pick up after roasting hot dogs in the fire pit in the Byer’s backyard.

  
“You can’t leave food out Will, you know that there are a billion cats running around these woods looking for any scraps to eat.” Steve hears Joyce shout from the backyard as he pulls up to the Byer household, Dustin dashing out of the car before Steve can even put it in park.

  
“Jesus Christ Dustin, at least wait until I park the damn car!” Steve yells to deaf ears as Dustin sprints in the house, not even sparing Steve a glance before the front door slams shut.

  
Steve misses when they were younger and _actually_ listened to him.

  
Stepping out of the BMW, Steve makes his way to the backyard where he can hear Joyce sighing in frustration as he steps closer.

  
“Hey, is everything alright?” Steve directs towards Joyce, who is, quite aggressively if you ask Steve, putting what looks like cat food in a metal bowl.

  
“Oh! Hey, Steve. Yes, everything’s alright. It’s just-“ Joyce rolls her eyes as the kids bound out of the house chattering nonsensically over each other.

  
“We have a cat now.” Will immediately beams towards Steve, clearly ignoring the irritated huff coming from his mother, who has suddenly pulled a water bowl out of nowhere.

  
Steve wish he had just stayed in bed when he sees a familiar gleam in the kids eyes. In Steve’s experience, that gleam usually ends in Steve most definitely committing some sort of crime for them.

  
“You most certainly do not have a cat, young man” Joyce laughs humorlessly, turning her attention back to Steve, “A stray cat must have gotten into some hot dogs you guys left out the last night. Woke up at four in the morning to the sound of scratching and insistent meowing at the backdoor.”

  
Steve glares at Mike and Lucas who he had _specifically_ put in charge of cleaning up all the food that was might have been left behind the night prior.

  
“Oh yeah? What happened to, ‘We aren’t babies Steve, we can clean up after ourselves just fine’?” Steve questions the group, puts his hands on his hips and for all their sake, ignores the giggles he hears.

  
“To be fair, It’s just a cat. We’ve dealt with much worse creatures, don’t you think?” Lucas says while dramatically rolling his eyes. Steve counts it as a win that instead of tensing up and awkwardly having to steer the conversation in a different direction, the group laughs, even Joyce lets a smile fall on her face.

  
_Progress_ , Steve thinks to himself.

  
“My mom isn’t letting us bring it inside.” Will says begrudgingly. Steve fights back a laugh as Will tries to give Joyce his best pout, it probably worked better back when he _wasn’_ t taller than her.

  
“We are not having this discussion again Will, I’m gonna be late for work,” Joyce says as calmly as she can, “We’re going to give it food and water and that is more than enough.”

  
There’s a collective groan from the group, and Steve can only assume that they all had been conspiring heavily to get the cat brought inside way before Steve and Dustin arrived for movie night.

  
“But Mom, it’s going to start getting cold outside soon. What’s going to happen when it snows?” Will says and smiles when the rest of the group nods along and agrees with him.

  
Joyce shrugs distractedly and rushes back into the house, mumbling about car keys.

  
And Steve really should have stayed in bed because the next thing he knows 6 pairs of pleading eyes are being directed right at him.

  
_No. Hell No. Absolutely not._

  
“No. Hell no. Absolutely not. There is _no way_ I am taking that damn cat.” Steve shakes his head harshly and makes his way towards the house, ignoring the uproar that is sure to begin in about .3 seconds.

  
“But you _love_ cats Steve. Nancy told me.” Mike shouts making Steve cringe inwardly.

_  
and_

  
“Your house is so big! You will not even notice the cat there.” El says, and Steve had really been hoping that she would have been the voice of reason. Maybe Hopper was right, Mike was corrupting her.

  
_and_

  
“Billy likes cats. Maybe he would come around more if you had a cat!” Max almost whispers, making Steve’s hand freeze where it was about to turn the backdoor handle.

  
A silence falls over the group, and Steve takes a deep breath before turning towards them.

  
Steve isn’t sure what they think of Billy in general, let alone what they think about when it comes to what _Steve_ thinks about Billy. Steve thinks they all know something is up because they’re nosy as _all hell_ , and because they might have possibly seen Steve cry about Billy when he was just the wrong side of tipsy at around 2 months and 18 days into things getting tentatively normal.

  
Steve really needs to start reconsidering having his friend group consist of 6 impossibly nosy 15 year olds.

  
“All those reasons are stupid and weak, and you all know it.” Steve tries to put a finality to his tone, but he knows them well enough to know that he’s already shown weakness by saying anything at all.

  
“I think it could be a good thing Steve. Some company would do you good.” Dustin says tentatively, giving Steve a knowing look.

  
And, _Fuck_. It’s not like Dustin’s _wrong_. 

  
Steve has felt himself slipping. He’s felt it in the way he forgets to eat some days and how it takes him 3 hours to convince himself to get up and shower. He’s slipping and the big empty house, parents no where to be found because Steve has almost died too many times and they’d rather run away than actually be parents, Steve thinks bitterly, isn’t helping.

  
He volunteers to drive the kids around and watch over them at whoever’s house, and he goes to work when he doesn’t really need to, and sometimes he stays at Robin’s house long enough for her to give him these knowing eyes and suggest he just sleep over, and he never says no.

  
Steve has to keep himself busy because too many people that he grew up with have died at the hand of other dimensional monsters, and people that he loves have almost died right in front of his eyes, in his _fucking_ arms for _Christ sake_ , and if he has too much time to think about it, he starts wondering why he couldn’t have been one of those people who died.

  
He is losing it, and that’s the only reason he takes a breath, stares the kids down and says:

  
“Fine. I’ll keep the damn cat.”

  
He really should have just stayed in bed.

~~~~~~~~

  
It turns out that _actually_ getting a hold of the cat is a lot easier said than done.

  
Once Steve informs Joyce that he would be more than happy to take the stray cat home, she laughs at him and shouts something about not letting the kids push him around anymore as she heads out the door to go to work.

  
The damn cat doesn’t even show up to the Byers household that night, at least not when Steve is watching the kids.

  
Will informs him when he picks him up the next day, that he had seen the cat that morning, drinking from the water bowl they had left out.

  
Steve wasn’t even sure how much he cared at that point, although he did have a _severe_ affection towards cats.

  
When he was younger, his mom always chastised him for leaving that nights leftovers out for the stray cats that would wander into their backyard at night, warned him about attachment and responsibility.

  
So, in the grand scheme of it all, he knew that he _did_ want the cat, especially with the kids telling him insistently about how cute it was, because for whatever reason they’ve all seen it except _him_.  
  
  
From what Steve has gathered from what the kids have told him, it’s probably a year old Tabby cat. Will has told him that the cat meows whenever it is talked to and that it likes rubbing against peoples legs.

  
Steve wants to have the cat in his home immediately after hearing that. But the cat is proving more difficult to acquire than initially planned.

  
And then the other, vastly more important, thing is that Billy Hargrove shows to pick up Max from the Byers house 4 months and 2 days into things being tentatively normal, and he manages to flip Steve’s world upside down, for what seems like the billionth time since he’s met him.

  
Of course, no one informs Steve that Billy would be coming to pick Max up, that he was even feeling well enough to get back in the Camero that Hopper and El had fixed up, because he must have done something evil to all of them in a past life.

  
So Steve opens the door expecting Susan to be waiting on the other side, instead finding Billy shyly smiling at him, hands shoved in the front pocket of one of the softest looking hoodies that Steve has ever seen.

  
Steve thinks slamming the door right in Billy’s face is an _incredibly_ warranted reaction, considering everything.

  
“Steve, what the hell!” Max yells from somewhere behind him, it might just be the fact that he feels like his brain feels like it’s coming out of his ears, but he thinks he hears some laughter in her voice.

  
“Um, so....Billy is out there?” Steve doesn’t even turn around to look at Max, or to see what is happening for the others to suddenly be making so much commotion in the kitchen, all his focus honed in on the closed wooden door in front of him.

  
Steve _swears_ he hears the backdoor open and the kids shuffling out but he just _can’t_ deal with whatever that is right now because Billy Hargrove is standing outside and Steve feels his heart in his fucking throat.

  
“Just- God Steve, just please open the door I’m going to go see what’s happening with the others. Tell Billy I’ll only be a minute.” Steve hears Max run out the backdoor and then  
Steve is left alone in the house, with Billy Hargrove, who he hasn’t seen in what feels like a year and who he has missed liked nothing he has ever missed before, waiting for him on the other side of the door.

  
Steve jumps a foot in the air when Billy suddenly knocks on the front door again.

  
“Harrington, I don’t know what your deal is, but it’s kind of getting really fucking cold out here.” Steve hears Billy’s muffled laugh, from the other side of the door, and Steve has never moved faster in his damn life.

  
“Sorry about that man.” Steve says as he swings the door open, finally letting himself look at Billy properly.

  
He’s wearing a hoodie under a jean jacket and some tight blue jeans and he looks the same as he did when Steve last saw him, minus the blood and all the wires that were hooked up to his body, but Steve just cannot think about that right now, _thank you very much_. Steve also notices Billy’s hair is a lot shorter, but the curls are still present and they look soft to the touch and Steve is going to have a panic attack in the front doorway of the Byers’ house because of some _stupid_ curls.

  
“You look like you just saw a ghost, Harrington.” Billy steps past Steve and inside the house, brushing against Steve’s shoulder as he goes.

  
The door closes a little too harshly, echoing loudly in the quiet household. Steve turns quickly and grabs a hold of Billy’s wrist, and is surprised when Billy doesn’t even flinch, instead gives Steve a confused look.

  
And Steve has no idea what in the _hell_ he is doing, standing in the middle of the Byers’ living room where Billy had beat the ever living shit out of him all those months and days ago when things weren’t even tentatively anything, now holding onto his wrist as if Billy is his only tether to the world.

  
Steve thinks about the Red String of Fate theory Robin had talked to him about one day when they were both bored at work, and he might be having a mental breakdown at the moment, but Steve swears he can feel the _physical_ pull as he crashes into Billy’s chest, wrapping his arms around the other boy.

  
The house is _painfully_ still and Steve can feel his heart hammering away in his chest, and he doesn’t know what he’s doing because he hasn’t seen Billy in literal months and he could still beat the shit out of Steve if he wanted to.

  
With that being said, Steve is more than a little surprised when he feels strong arms wrap around his skinny frame just as tight, if not, tighter.

  
“I’m only going to ignore how weird as fuck you’re being for about 5 more minutes, you got that pretty boy?” Billy whispers into Steve’s ear.

  
_Pretty boy. Pretty Boy. Pretty Boy. Billy was alive and he was calling him pretty boy again.  
_

_  
_ Steve can feel himself shaking apart, he feels the weight of everything that’s happened seemingly whoosh out of him as Billy tightens his fist into Steve’s sweatshirt, as if he’s afraid that Steve will slip right through his fingers.

  
Steve thinks about second chances and about how Billy had looked like he wanted to kiss him so many times last year, before anything bad could happen, and Steve thinks there’s no way he’s going to fuck this up again, and he thinks Billy is thinking the same thing with how he’s holding onto Steve.

  
All in all, it probably looks dramatic as hell when the kids finally storm back inside the house, as Steve and Billy both look like they’re trying to get lost in each other’s skin.

  
“I don’t know what’s going on, and I really don’t care, but El has a hold of the cat Steve!” Mike yells, putting a hand over Dustin’s mouth, who is clearly the _only_ one who cares about the show that Billy and Steve are giving them all.

  
“Cat?” Billy finally lets go of him, but lets his hand rest on the small of Steve’s back, looking at him in amusement.

  
“Yeah, Steve is taking the stray cat that’s been hanging around the Byers house.” Max says with a smirk on her face, eyeing where Billy’s hand is resting. These little shits _knew_ something was up, and Steve is going to kill all of them once his face _doesn’t_ feel like it’s literally on fire.

  
“Is that so?” Billy raises his eyebrow in a taunting manner, “Are you sure you can keep another living creature alive, Harrington? Because, you’re not looking to hot yourself, pretty boy.”

  
Billy had almost died in Steve arms 4 months and 2 days ago, and now he’s standing in front of Steve, alive and healthy, and clearly wanting to make fun of him for agreeing to adopt a stray cat.

  
Steve decides right then and there, that at 4 months and 2 days, things were finally _just_ normal. No longer tentative.

  
“Hey! I keep these shitheads alive don’t I?” Steve says and only squirms a little when Billy very slowly slides his hand off of Steve’s back.

  
“Well what are we doing standing here? Lets see this cat.” Billy shoos the kids towards the backdoor, turning to wink at Steve before following after them.

  
Steve remembers what Joyce told him when he told her about the panic attacks, and he closes his eyes and takes several deep breaths , before he finally follows the others outside. Steve feels a warmth, that hasn’t been there in quite sometime, bloom across his chest as he steps into the backyard and sees Billy surrounded by the 6 most annoying preteens that he loves a stupidly fierce amount, and a fat Tabby cat that is resting in El’s arms, meowing loudly at all the attention. 

  
_His_ fat Tabby cat, Steve remembers.

  
“Here.” El pushes past the others who are desperately trying to pet the animal, and stands right in front of Steve, making a motion to pass the cat over to him.

  
Steve opens his arms and takes the cat from El, laughing brightly when the cat immediately puts its paws on Steve’s chest and stares at him,searchingly, as if it’s testing to see if it can trust Steve.

  
“I think it likes you.” Billy says, lighting a cigarette and staring at Steve in a way that makes him flush down to his toes.

  
“It’s a she.” El informs them, walking back over to Mike who is shouting about some bet he made with Will and Lucas.

  
“Well, we’re going to go back inside, it’s cold as hell out here. You guys have fun.” Dustin says, looking between both teenage boys, giving Steve a glare as he passes him to walk in the house with the others.

  
“You can just come inside when you’re ready to go, no rush.” Max throws over her shoulder to Billy, who is now sitting on a lawn chair finishing his cigarette, before closing the door behind her.

  
The sun is slowly setting so Billy and Steve are engulfed in the hues of the final moments of light. Steve hasn’t felt this peaceful in months, maybe his whole life, he thinks.

  
Steve takes a seat next to Billy, gently placing the cat in his lap. The cat softly mewls and immediately deems that neither of them are interesting enough, and immediately starts trying to take a nap on Steve’s lap.

  
“What are you going to name her?” Billy grounds his cigarette into the grass, and crowds into Steve’s space, leaning over to gently caress the cat.

  
Steve leans even more into Billy, and discreetly inhales, trying to re-memorize Billy. He still smells the same as he always has, Steve figures. Cigarette smoke and Billy’s after shave surrounding Steve like a blanket.

  
“Winnie, I think. The kids are probably going to come up with a billion and one different names for her, but I think she looks like a Winnie.” Steve says, putting his hands on the cats soft fur. Billy huffs a noise of agreement.

  
“How have you been?” Steve can’t force the words out fast enough, he doesn’t want to _already_ fuck this up, but he hasn’t seen Billy in _months_ and he thought he was going to die for _fucks sake_ , so he feels like he has a right to sound like he’s being strangled.

  
“Better, I guess. Although I feel like Max has already been telling you guys all about that,” Billy laugh lightly, turning to fully look at Steve, “There’s only so much better you can feel after being the host for some....monster.”

  
Steve can’t tear his eyes away from Billy, his brain is trying to catalog all the things that made him feel like he was drowning in the middle of the night because he was so _damn_ scared that he was never going to see how stupidly blue Billy’s eyes were, or all the freckles that scattered across his face like a painting, and how he always felt so warm, that Steve felt like he was constantly standing next to the _fucking sun_.

  
He hears Nancy’s voice in his head, _Bullshit, it’s all Bullshit_ , and Steve can’t help but think she was right. It was all bullshit, because he hadn’t _known_ he could love like this. Could love Billy Hargrove like it was the last thing he was ever going to get to do.

  
“You’re acting weird again, Harrington.” Billy says, knocking his shoulder gently against Steve’s, _somehow_ , considering they’re plastered together from shoulder to shins.

  
“Yeah, sorry, It-it’s just I haven’t seen you since you were basically dead, and I haven’t been able to sleep because I can’t stop fucking dreaming about you dying for some reason, which is humorous if you think about how you almost killed me last year,” Steve rambles, “I almost think that you aren’t here right now, and that I have finally lost my mind.”

  
Steve only jumps a little bit this time, when he feels Billy’s warm hand rest on top of his, where it’s laying still on the cats fur. Winnie doesn’t even stir awake slightly.

  
“Steve..” Billy whispers, “I’m right here. I- I’m not going anywhere.”

  
And it’s all a little too much, that’s the reason Steve will give, because the next thing he knows he’s leaning over and kissing Billy Hargrove in the Byers backyard with a stray cat, that he is now the owner of, sleeping away in his lap, and things haven’t been normal,  
let alone okay , in what feels like months, maybe even years, and it’s all a _little_ too much.

  
Steve pulls away and waits to be wrong. Waits for Billy to get up and leave him outside in the cold night, and never come back. He almost hopes, sickeningly, that Billy punches him instead of just simply leaving. At least maybe this time the bruises will be a reminder that Billy is safe and alive.

What Steve doesn’t expect if for Billy to chuckle and _blush_.

  
“Did it really take me almost dying for us to get here?” Billy says, leaning in closer and closer to Steve.

  
Winnie stirs at the movement and jumps off of Steve’s lap, she doesn’t sprint into the woods like Steve thought she might, instead heads back towards the Byers’ back door, and lays back down. Almost as if she’s waiting for them. to finish getting their shit together.

  
“Are we really gonna do this?” Steve grabs a hold of Billy’s outstretched hand and laces their fingers together, he thinks of never letting go.

  
Billy laughs and lifts up his other hand, caresses Steve‘s cheekbone before tucking some stray hair behind is ear. Steve can’t think about letting go now.

  
“We’ve been through some shit, haven’t we _princess_?” Billy says as his thumbs rubs circles at the hinge of Steve’s jaw. “I’ve done a lot of bad things, even when I wasn’t the host to some fucked up monster.”

  
Billy pulls away a bit at that, but he doesn’t disconnect their hands from where they’re resting in Steve’s lap.

  
_Progress_ , is all that’s ringing in Steve’s ear.

  
“I’m trying to fix things. Make things right with everyone, with Max and Susan and the other twerps, with Hopper and Ms Byers,” Billy squeezes Steve’s hand. “With you.”

  
This entire time Steve had thought that Billy would come back and he would be a shell of himself, that he would be a walking vegetable.  
Or that he might even come back worse then before he went under control of the MindFlayer. Steve feels a knot he didn’t even know was resting within his chest, loosen up as he watches the Billy that is in front of him now.

  
He’s still the same Billy that put bruises on his skin all that time ago, and he’s still the Billy that insisted in getting up all in his space every time they interacted, but the Billy that's sitting next to him, rubbing the back of his hand with his thumb, is also softer, gentler around the edges.

  
He looks like he can finally breathe, Steve notes.

  
“You gonna help me take care of this cat?” Steve laughs, motioning towards Winnie who was making her way back over to them, rubbing against Billy’s shins.

  
“I feel like there’s a lot of jokes I can make about pussies right now.” Billy says, resting his head on Steve’s shoulder.

  
And it’s been 4 months and 2 days and things are normal.

  
_Just normal._

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this wasn't too awful and corny. I wrote this at 4 in the morning after crying about the last episode for an hour. 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr @ sventeens 0w0


End file.
